Tigers Eye

Running out the door, Shawn sprinted down the hallway hopping on one foot as he threw on his other shoe. He was late for his first day of class. Shawn ran out the door and made his way towards the school building. He rounded the park and to his surprise, Azula, his only friend, was standing under a tree with a person he had recognized from the Foxberry. As he looked around, he realized tons of people were headed in one direction towards the powerplant, including Azula.

“Hey Azula what's going on?” he asked.
“Oh hey Shawn!! It's the circus of course! Everyone is going you should tag along with us!”
“Why would the circus come on a Friday afternoon I have class in 10 minutes!”
Azula laughed, “Shawn what are you talking about classes don’t start until Monday.”
Shawn’s cheeks turned bright red, he was so embarrassed and yet, he felt entirely relieved. “This is Jackie by the way” Azula introduced as Jackie waved her hand to greet him. The three made their way down to the circus.

Shawn was struck by the amazement of the circus as they purchased tickets before the show which didn’t start for another couple hours. He had never been to a circus before. He went on the questionably-safe rollercoasters, waited in line for over an hour to ride the Ferris wheel, and watched the depressingly sad animals pace back and forth in their cages that were entirely too small. Shawn was especially intrigued by the tiger. There was a moment when everyone around was gone and it was just him and the precious animal. The tiger had stopped pacing for the first time since arriving to the circus location and sat down to face Shawn. For a couple moments, the tiger just starred into Shawn’s eyes and in a sense, Shawn was almost hypnotized by the animal. Something was wrong.

As they sat in their seats watching the show, Shawn's excitement grew even more and when the show was over, his heart sank a bit inside. The three decided to sit and talk after it was over. As they were talking, an older man who had been sitting next to them came back down to his wife.

“Honey we have to go. The evidence from the Mr. Evans murder case was stolen from the police station. They think it was the murderer. The police recommended we go home and lock the door. He’s out there. I suggest y’all do the same” as he noticed the three were listening in.

The tiger was right. 

Comments

  1. sofiaFebruary 13, 2019 at 9:54 AM

    Topic sentences : “the tiger just stared into Shawn’s eyes..” Good sentence because invokes the imagery of the situation which help emphasize the rest of the blog’s mood.

    Question (something you want to know?)- will shawn go deeper into the investigation of Mr.even murders or will he be a sideliner?

    one thing you are unclear about ?
    Nothing

    Suggestion: since your character is curiose I feel like as you continue to build your character choose to be involved in finding the murder of Mr.even

    ReplyDelete
  2. parkFebruary 13, 2019 at 10:02 AM

    Really good sentence (plot moving, develops character, really nice sentence)
    For a couple moments, the tiger just stared into Shawn’s eyes and in a sense, Shawn was almost hypnotized by the animal. Something was wrong.
    Any question you want to ask?
    If you’re an exchange student, shouldn’t you be staying with a host family?
    Something you’re unclear about?
    Where is your guardian? Who is taking care of you?
    One suggestion to develop character
    What are Shawn’s intentions? What does he want to do?

    ReplyDelete

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